Happy weekend! I know, I celebrate the weekend almost excessively, but who doesn't? Another week down and a couple of extra hours to catch up on sleep, could it get any better? Answer, no, not for a college student. This week in particular, it was plain old hard. Remember last week? I had a big test in one of my core science classes. Well, I had another huge test in my most important biology class right now. Let's just say I spent almost every waking moment this week memorizing every fact about bacteria. Making yourself study so much is exhausting and mentally draining, but I really want to do well in this class. I am not quite sure how I did on the exam yet but I don't feel terrible about it so that's good. Once my tests were over, there was no time to rest. I had two papers to write and an assignment complete. I am finished and exhausted. It feels so good to have a free moment and blog some. I am actually surprised that I found myself wanting to blog after struggling through my last paper.
As I tried to think about what I wanted to share in this post I thought I should try and think of something really creative or exciting to share! Some of my favorite blogs always seem so exciting and I want to be able to do the same. Then, as I tried to think of something exciting, I couldn't! It really began to frustrate me and I think I know why. I haven't felt exactly content with my life lately. Before I go any further, I want to clarify that I am realistic in the fact that life is not all butterflies and rainbows. I know there will be periods of doubt and hard work. With that in mind, I am trying to do a bit of soul searching trying to figure out how much is too much? What do you do when things that used to make you joyful are now burdens? What do you do when you don't have anytime for the things that make you happy? Do you change your lifestyle around? Do you do what you feel best for you even if others could never understand it? Or do you stay the course and hold on to what you know?
These questions are what I am currently struggling with. I don't think I will find an answer for these either. It is not going to be found by plugging in a formula or trying each method and then deciding. I also think a lot of this has to do with where I am on the timeline of life. When people said college will be one the hardest things you do in life, I finally know what they mean. I have struggled so much. I am trying to solve the puzzle known as myself. Most times, I get so caught up in the GPA race that I forget it's about relationships and the relationship I develop with myself. My favorite high school teacher once said, "I don't care if you can't remember anything about human anatomy, all I care about is that you learn about yourself."
Life is crazy. It is so much bigger than you and me. My biggest comfort is that I have God on my side. He will see me through. He is willing to see us all through. Believe in Him.
Goal-- have faith in the times of complete turmoil. Faith in God and faith in yourself and your ability to make decisions.
Ready, Set, Go!
Maisie
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